Mommyhood

There is a saying that comes from a poem, "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". So true; motherhood is too often taken forgranted -- we have lost the wonder of being a mom, of the miracle of pregnancy and birth.

Children are the reminder that life is still good, they are our hope for the future, they are the most precious of all gifts.

Too often we look at our kids as something that is strictly a responsibility, a job, something to clothe, feed, and give a good education. They are so much more than that, they are walking miracles, they are the future on two little legs. They are our connection with the innocence and purity many of us have lost -- they challenge us to remember the important things which is Not money or material things.

Children are our gifts from the Creator of the Universe and one day we will be required to give an answer for how we treated and taught them. They are little eternal beings as we ourselves are and there is nothing, and no one in this life more important than our little ones.

blogging on.....

this foray into writing has been more difficult than i first thought it would be!!! wanted to tell a cohesive life story but i am not that type of a person i have concluded.

My kids are my greatest joys, blessings, and responsiblities; i have four; the first two are girls, ages 23 & soon to be 21. Both girls are married to army men; both of whom are currently deployed in Iraq.

The next two are boys -ages 51/2 and 1 1/2. Different lives, different dads but don't ever call them half-siblings --- they are closer than most kids fully biological or otherwise. Both girls would do anything for their brothers and the boys adore their sisters; the oldest boy was quite raised by the 3 of us women --- i wasn't in a good place. i had literally just left a 20 year abusive relationship when i met the boys' father and was q1uite smitten in spite of my determination to stay alone and give my daughters and i a peaceful, quiet life; really didn't intend to have a relationship but found myself mesmerized by this tall, dark latin w/ deep soulful eyes full of pain, wisdom, and depth --not a shallow person; i thought he was in the divorce process as i myself was and the very first time we had sex our awesome son was created..................... not a believer in abortion and a firm believer in the sanctity of life abortion wasn't a consideration and i was flung into the abyss of denial and shock because i soon found out the man who had stolen my heart had lied and wasn't free at all................. i thank God for the girls because life for all us went through if not a hellish time it was certainly painful..................... i finally started putting my self back togethern when my father began his decent into self-destruction, depression, and alcoholism which killed him 2 years later ---- within 24hours of my father leaving this earth, the boys' dad came to visit, give me money to go to my father's funeral and his comforting me left me pregnant again in spite of birth control; that sent me into another even deeper depression of sorts --- in spite of believing the baby was sent by God, i couldn't go on anymore --- still to this day i am often living out of body --- how can one be so torn and lost yet not be unhappy??? well, that is the enigma that i am, that my life is ----------- we are uberwindens to be sure, German for to overcome; more than survivors.....................

#3 estrella cont........

He was born in the spring, 6 1/2 weeks early. His daddy barely made it to the hospital; his daddy, the married (but not to me) one. I had been on bedrest & off work for over a month. One day before going in to work, I had to have another ultrasound as they were doing these every couple weeks being that they deemed me high risk due to being 38 and my history of quick labors. Anyway, the ultrasound tech said hmmm........ and said just one moment, stepped out of the room came back in, did an internal ultrasound and said just a moment and stepped out again! At somewhere around 28-29 weeks i was definitely nervous. When the technician came back in she said they wanted me to go into the er as it looked like i was in premature labor and was already dilated to almost 4cm. So off i go and get hooked up to things, they play round with different meds until the monitirs show what they called contractions had slowed and then 2 days later i go home to be on bedrest. Not a good on bedrest, can't do anything patient and in fact took myself off complete bedrest at just over 32 weeks & stopped taking the meds then too. My water broke about a week later. My sister had stayed with me until my mom got there; both daughters were there, a fewfriends, my labor coach and good friend & of course the daddy person who made it in time to see our son emerge into the world.
Well, that was the emergence of my third child --- he was promised to me years ago in a prophecy after i had been praying and begging for a son for 10 years.

Mi estrella #3--the 3rd star of my life

After much thought it came to me that what better place to start than with the four most important, life altering events and people ---- my kids! They are the stars in the sky of my life; they are the ones that have forever changed and altered myself, and my life path.

Let me tell you about my third child -- he is/was my child of promise.

hello world......

Christmas night 2009

i have always wanted to be a writer and with a life like mine there is more than enough material to write at least 3-4 novels, well at least novellas..... my life has it all...... love, hate, joy, violence, betrayal, laughter, drama, intrigue, spirituality, hypocrisy, confusion, chaos, peace........................ it has not been a boring life to say the least! The handful of people outside my family who know about us have often said this is worthy of being told but where to begin, what direction to start?????? I don't know so will just introduce myself (names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty of course) and take off from there and see where this adventure leads..........

Hello,
I am Imperfectly Priceless, aka Fallen Angel

My name today is not the name i was given at birth -- in fact, my name has been changed several times. It has been an adventure reinventing myself --- oh sure, at first it was all scary and overwhelming, this creating a new identity thing but after a time i decided that it wasn't going to do any good crying and feeling dramatic over a lost life/name/identity so since the only thing i could control was myself, i had better enjoy this one adventure here on this planet. i am nothing if not spiritual.......... i choose to serve The Creator, The Jesus Christ BUT don't call me religious or necessarily a christian.......... those words are quite negative and bring an image of a person who is more often than not a self-righteous, narrow-minded, bigoted, hypocrite who leans on laws and rules more than the law of LOVE.
i am also a very eclectic person; multi-ethnic, with a very multi-ethnic family; am a survivor, overcomer, a mami; to nutshell it -- i like to say i went from being mob wife to being a mistress, and my goal is to become a mrs---- okay, that sounds much better in my head than reading it back after being written down............... my kids range in age from grown, young married adults to barely out of babyhood but am definitely not as many as say the Duggers.
sounds like the end doesn't it? what do you want to know? what makes me different from most of the rest of the population????? well, other than being able to relate to most everyone???? i am a multi-ethnic person who looks white but am not and therefore don't really fit or belong in any one group; thought i was married for over 20 years but wasn't yet had to legally file for divorce due to legal loopholes and redtape; survived abuses of all kinds; if abuse from an outside source wasn't enough, punished myself with an eating disorder for most my life but am now in recovery (gosh, hate how that sounds, in recovery, pathetic sounding, yuck) if nothing else, this life of mine and my kids and that of my family is a testament to what following the Way of Love can overcome, survive, grow & even thrive from; the events are real, the pain has been, is, and am sure will be almost unsurvivably intense but then again so are the good time, the joys, the happy moments.....
Love will always find a way, It always triumphs in the end, we just have to yield to It and let ourselves be changed by It and allow the Love to live in and flow through us.........
guess that will have to suffice as my intro to the world --- Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad to me --- my writing adventure is my gift to myself
grace and peace :-)